Men lie the most, women tell the biggest lies.

You know you're rich when you have to drive for a half hour to get to your house once you're on your property.

Men are only as unfaithful as their options.

I just thought everybody lived around abandoned buildings and crack-heads, ... I lived in the ghetto until I was like 19. I came to Los Angeles, stayed at hotels and stuff. When I got back and I saw what my neighborhood looked like, I started getting scared.

I'm pretty good at getting over people throwing stuff at me. If you've been doing stand up long enough you know how to swing back and get the laughs.

Dude, I didn't say Jude Law can't act. I didn't say Jude Law was in bad movies. I just said he's in every movie.

If poor people knew how rich rich people are, there would be riots in the streets.