Stand-up is the only career like that where once you get really big at it, people kind of encourage you not to do it.

I love having somebody there - that companion thing. You know who you're going to eat with, who you're going to see a movie with.

The government doesn't want you to use YOUR drugs, they want you to use THEIR drugs.

We treat racism in this country like it's a style that America went through. Like flared legs and lava lamps. Oh, that crazy thing we did. We were hanging black people. We treat it like a fad instead of a disease that eradicates millions of people. You've got to get it at a lab, and study it, and see its origins, and see what it's immune to and what breaks it down.

If you want to prevent abortions, you make sure everyone has health care, a high school education and birth control. Not the exact opposite.

My mother always says: "You know better, so you'll be punished. Your friends don't know better, so they won't be punished. They can go snatch chains and they'll be fine. But if you snatch chains, you'll end up in jail because you know better."

Anyone who makes up their mind about an issue before they hear the issue is a fool.