Learn how to cook. Read books that will educate you. Get an education. Get a career. And support yourself. And live in a section of town that isn't conducive to violence.

Gay people got a right to be as miserable as everybody else.

That's a sure sign someone is going crazy - when he refers to himself in the third person, talks in low tones, and walks around wearing shades all day!

I don't get high, but sometimes I wish I did. That way, when I messed up in life I would have an excuse. But right now there's no rehab for stupidity.

The only plan I have is to not do anything I don't want to do - and to never work just for money.

When I do something good, the audience lets me know immediately. They laugh. That's it.

I hate niggas! I hate em! I wish they'd let me join the Ku Klux Klan!