Here's the thing. When we talk about race relations in America or racial progress, it's all nonsense. There are no race relations. White people were crazy. Now they're not as crazy. To say that black people have made progress would be to say they deserve what happened to them before.

Men are handicapped when it comes to arguing, 'cause we have a need to make sense.

I can't cook, but I have a nice book of menus... and I can plate and set the table.

Give me a black man, a white woman, a giraffe, a zebra anything but another white man! That last one f***ed up my roof!

I never really write the jokes. I just sit down over a week or two and try to figure out what I want to talk about. Once I narrow that down, then I start working on the material, like "How do I make this stuff funny?"

I want my name to be a brand in comedy. I hope my name stands for comedic excellence.

Oprah is rich; Bill Gates is wealthy. If Bill Gates woke up tomorrow with Oprah's money, he'd jump out of a window and slit his throat on the way down saying, 'I can't even put gas in my plane!'