Here's the thing. When we talk about race relations in America or racial progress, it's all nonsense. There are no race relations. White people were crazy. Now they're not as crazy. To say that black people have made progress would be to say they deserve what happened to them before.

By the time I was 7 or 8, I wanted to be a comedy writer.

You don't pay taxes; they take them from your check. That's not a payment - that's a 'jack.

When you've been on a ghetto diet your entire life, you're just happy to get a large soda instead of a medium.

I'm an independent, but I got to admit I lean Democratic.

You want to track Hollywood careers, look in the real estate section. You see a guy buy a house that costs $6 million, and you can literally start counting the days until he starts doing crappy movies.

If you live below your means, you can turn down stuff all the time.