You don't pay taxes - they take taxes.

Women can have all the evidence but they still want the confession.

I think all the funny people were bullied. When they talk about outlawing bullying, it's like, what? You want no Comedy Central?

Only black people in the whole neighborhood, so let's break it down: Me, I'm a decent comedian, I'm a'ight. Mary J. Blige, one of the greatest R&B singers to ever walk the Earth. Jay-Z, one of the greatest rappers to ever live. Eddie Murphy, one of the funniest actors to ever, ever do it. Do you know what the white man that lives next door to me does for a living? He's a f*****g dentist.

The key to staying together is making sure you guys like each other and need each other.

I never watched the Oscars. Come on, it's a fashion show . . . What straight black man sits there and watches the Oscars? Show me one. And they don't recognize comedy, and you don't see a lot of black people nominated, so why should I watch it?

Happy white peoples independence day the slaves weren't free but I'm sure they enjoyed fireworks.