I don't write jokes first. I write down topics. I think of what I want to talk about, and then I write the jokes - they don't write me... And even if you don't think it's funny, you won't think it's boring. You might disagree, but you'll listen. And maybe even laugh as you disagree.
Kennedy didn't beat Nixon. Satire beat Nixon.
I think my best work is when I'm kind of in charge.
Only dumb people try to impress smart people. Smart people just do what they do.
Welcome to the 77th and last Oscars.
You won’t be able to take your eyes off the next four presenters: Salma Hayek and Penelope Cruz.