I'm like the Hulk on stage. It's way over the top. That's Bizarro Chris. Sometimes I get off stage and go What did I say?! I'll watch one of my stand-up specials a year later and go Eww, that was mean.

I'm in show business... I want to hang out with Janet Jackson, not Jesse Jackson.

When people try to read between the lines - critics, they have a job. Their job is to make something bigger than it is.

No film critic's going to say it, but 'Madagascar 3' is better than 'The Artist.'

Black movies don't have real names, they have names like Barbershop. That's not a name, that's just a location.

White man makes guns? No problem. Black rapper says "gun"? Congressional hearing.

People are the same wherever you go. And if they weren't, they wouldn't laugh at the same s**t.