I'm like the Hulk on stage. It's way over the top. That's Bizarro Chris. Sometimes I get off stage and go What did I say?! I'll watch one of my stand-up specials a year later and go Eww, that was mean.

I'm never proper or careful, but I never curse in front of my mother, either.

I took my AlDS test. You start reflecting... You start thinking about every nasty, skank-ass... It's like the movie Scrooge, and the Ghost of Pussy Past comes.

You don't pay taxes; they take them from your check. That's not a payment - that's a 'jack.

We were so poor my daddy unplugged the clocks when we went to bed.

There's math, and everything else is debatable!

Remember when we was young, everybody used to have these arguments about who's better, Michael Jackson or Prince? Prince won!