I'm like the Hulk on stage. It's way over the top. That's Bizarro Chris. Sometimes I get off stage and go What did I say?! I'll watch one of my stand-up specials a year later and go Eww, that was mean.

My goals were small. My goal was to become a big enough stand-up that I wouldn't have to do radio. I could sell out a club, which is like 300 seats. If I got big enough, I could sell before I got there, and I wouldn't have to get up at 6 in the morning to do radio. That was pretty much the dream. I had no idea I'd be playing Madison Square Garden or anything.

When you've been on a ghetto diet your entire life, you're just happy to get a large soda instead of a medium.

No film critic's going to say it, but 'Madagascar 3' is better than 'The Artist.'

There's no interference in stand-up. It's all the things it's hard to get in film: I get to have a wife, I get to have kids. I get to be sexual. I get to grow. I get to be a man.

I'm in show business... I want to hang out with Janet Jackson, not Jesse Jackson.

Emotional affairs, those are the only real affairs; those are the real ones.