Unlike flying or astral projection, walking through walls is an earthbound pursuit.

That's a sure sign someone is going crazy - when he refers to himself in the third person, talks in low tones, and walks around wearing shades all day!

A black man will be elected President of the United States. I'm sorry, that's in the year 10,000.

I met so many people after I got rich and famous, and I learned that you can't ultimately trust people unless they were your friends when you were broke.

Hollywood's racist. Hollywood is sorority racist. It's like - we like you, Rhonda, but you're not a Kappa.

Comedians tend to find a comfort zone and stay there and do lamer versions of themselves for the rest of their career.

A man is only as faithful as his options.