The U.S government hates rap music

Whenever I go out with other married couples, I like to bring along a single crackhead. Just to spice things up.

I used to work at McDonald's making minimum wage. You know what that means when someone pays you minimum wage? You know what your boos was trying to say? "Hey if I could pay you less, I would, but it's against the law."

Why do people do yoga? To clear their minds? I embrace the clutter in my head.

See... Relationships are hard, man. For order, for any relationship to work, both people have to be on the same page, both people have to have the same focus, and we all know what that page is. We all know what that focus is. In order for the relationship to work both people have to have the same focus, and what's that focus? That focus is all about HER! It's all about her!

I believe you got my property?

I want my name to be a brand in comedy. I hope my name stands for comedic excellence.