I'm working on something a little different. It's a technique I call, 'tantric abstinence.' Now, the way this works is I meet a woman, I charm the heck out of her, and then right as she's considering sleeping with me, I say something so awkward that she leaves and I have to start over again with another woman entirely.
Christian FinneganI used to play bass for a while and got to the point where I was good enough to be in a shitty band.
Christian FinneganIf you purchased the latest Joss Stone CD, what you're saying is that you're an employee of VH1.
Christian FinneganI think I speak for America when I say, nothing says NASCAR like Whoopi Goldberg.
Christian FinneganWhat is the point of a car alarm if it doesn't get people out of their beds to come help you? So if I ever have a car alarm - if I ever have a car - it's just going to be a big speaker on the back of my car. And when anybody tries to break in, it's just gonna go: Attention! Free bags of weed! Come get your free bags of weed!
Christian Finnegan