The paternalist is a sentimentalist at heart, and the sentimentalist is always potentially cruel.
Christopher IsherwoodThe more I think about myself, the more I'm persuaded that, as a person, I really don't exist. That is one of the reasons why I can't believe in any orthodox religion: I cannot believe in my own soul. No, I am a chemical compound, conditioned by environment and education. My "character" is simply a repertoire of acquired tricks, my conversation a repertoire of adaptations and echoes, my "feelings" are dictated by purely physical, external stimuli.
Christopher IsherwoodWe must remember that nothing in this world really belongs to us. At best, we are merely borrowers.
Christopher IsherwoodWhatโs so phony nowadays is all this familiarity. Pretending there isnโt any difference between people โwell, like you were saying about minorities, this morning. If you and I are no different, what do we have to give each other? How can we ever be friends?
Christopher IsherwoodIt seems to me that the real clue to your sexual orientation lies in your romantic feelings rather than your sexual feelings. If you are really gay, you are able to fall in love with a man, not just enjoy sex with him.
Christopher IsherwoodI am alive, he says to himself, I am alive! And life energy surges hotly through him, and delight, and appetite. How good to be in a body - even this old beat-up carcass - that still has warm blood and live semen and rich marrow and wholesome flesh!
Christopher IsherwoodThe town is an advertisement for itself; none of its charms are left to the visitor's imagination.
Christopher IsherwoodBut now isnโt simply now. Now is also a cold reminder: one whole day later than yesterday, one year later than last year. Every now is labeled with its date, rendering all past nows obsolete, until โ later of sooner โ perhaps โ no, not perhaps โ quite certainly: it will come.
Christopher IsherwoodWhat irritates me is the bland way people go around saying, 'Oh, our attitude has changed. We don't dislike these people any more.' But by the strangest coincidence, they haven't taken away the injustice; the laws are still on the books.
Christopher IsherwoodI'll bet Shakespeare compromised himself a lot; anybody who's in the entertainment industry does to some extent.
Christopher IsherwoodIf itโs going to be a world with no time for sentiment, itโs not a world that I want to live in.
Christopher IsherwoodHorror is always aware of its cause; terror never is. That is precisely what makes terror terrifying.
Christopher IsherwoodThink of two people, living together day after day, year after year, in this small space, standing elbow to elbow cooking at the same small stove, squeezing past each other on the narrow stairs, shaving in front of the same small bathroom mirror, constantly jogging, jostling, bumping against each otherโs bodies by mistake or on purpose, sensually, aggressively, awkwardly, impatiently, in rage or in love โ think what deep though invisible tracks they must leave, everywhere, behind them!
Christopher IsherwoodA few times in my life I've had moments of absolute clarity, when for a few brief seconds the silence drowns out the noise and I can feel rather than think, and things seem so sharp. And the world seems so fresh as though it had all just come into existence. I can never make these moments last. I cling to them, but like everything, they fade. I have lived my life on these moments. They pull me back to the present, and I realize that everything is exactly the way it was meant to be.
Christopher IsherwoodLois and Alexander are by far the most beautiful creatures in the class; their beauty is like the beauty of plants, seemingly untroubled by vanity, anxiety or effort.
Christopher IsherwoodHis life has been lived, so far, within narrow limits and he is quite naรฏve about most kinds of experience; he fears it and yet is wildly eager for it. To reassure himself, he converts it into epic myth as fast as it happens. He is forever play-acting.
Christopher IsherwoodBut seriously, I believe I'm a sort of Ideal Woman, if you know what I mean. I'm the sort of woman who can take men away from their wives, but I could never keep anybody for long. And that's because I'm the type which every man imagines he wants, until he gets me; and then he finds he doesn't really, after all.
Christopher IsherwoodIn ten minutes they will have arrived on campus. George will have to be George; the George they have named and will recognise. So now he consciously applies himself to thinking their thoughts, getting into their mood. With the skill of a veteran, he rapidly puts on the psychological makeup for this role he must play.
Christopher IsherwoodI am a camera with its shutter open, quite passive, recording, not thinking. Recording the man shaving at the window opposite and the woman in the kimono washing her hair. Some day, all this will have to be developed, carefully printed, fixed.
Christopher IsherwoodA minority is only thought of as a minority when it constitutes some kind of threat to the majority, real or imaginary. And no threat is ever quite imaginary.
Christopher IsherwoodDo you think it makes people nasty to be loved? You know it doesnโt! Then why should it make them nice to be loathed? While youโre being persecuted, you hate whatโs happening to you, you hate the people who are making it happen; youโre in a world of hate. Why, you wouldnโt recognize love if you met it! Youโd suspect love! Youโd think there was something behind itโsome motiveโsome trick.
Christopher IsherwoodI often feel that worse than the most fiendish Nazis were those Germans who went along with the persecution of the Jews not because they really disliked them but because it was the thing.
Christopher IsherwoodI'm like a book you have to read. A book can't read itself to you. It doesn't even know what it's about. I don't know what I'm about.
Christopher IsherwoodBerlin is a skeleton which aches in the cold: it is my own skeleton aching. I feel in my bones the sharp ache of the frost in the girders of the overhead railway, in the iron-work of balconies, in bridges, tramlines, lamp-standards, latrines. The iron throbs and shrinks, the stone and the bricks ache dully, the plaster is numb.
Christopher IsherwoodCalifornia is a tragic country โ like Palestine, like every Promised Land. Its short history is a fever-chart of migrations โ the land rush, the gold rush, the oil rush, the movie rush, the Okie fruit-picking rush, the wartime rush to the aircraft factories โ followed, in each instance, by counter-migrations of the disappointed and unsuccessful, moving sorrowfully homeward.
Christopher IsherwoodWaking up begins with saying am and now. That which has awoken then lies for a while staring up at the ceiling and down into itself until it has recognized I, and therefrom deduced I am, I am now. Here comes next, and is at least negatively reassuring; because here, this morning, is where it has expected to find itself: whatโs called at home.
Christopher IsherwoodLife is not so bad if you have plenty of luck, a good physique, and not too much imagination.
Christopher IsherwoodStaring and staring into the mirror, it sees many faces within its face - the face of the child, the boy, the young man, the not-so-young man - all present still, preserved like fossils on superimposed layers, and, like fossils, dead. Their message to this live dying creature is: Look at us - we have died - what is there to be afraid of? It answers them: But that happened so gradually, so easily. I'm afraid of being rushed.
Christopher IsherwoodThe Nazis were not right to hate the Jews. But their hating of Jews was not without a cause. No one ever hates without a cause.
Christopher IsherwoodI am a camera, with its shutter open. Someday, all of this will be developed, printed, fixed.
Christopher IsherwoodThese books have not made George nobler or better or more truly wise. It is just that he likes listening to their voices, the one or the other, acording to his mood. He misuses them quite ruthlessly - despite the respectful way he has to talk about them in public - to put him to bed, to take his mind off the hands of the clock, to relax the nagging of his pyloric spasm, to gossip him out of his melancholy, to trigger the conditioned reflexes of his colon.
Christopher IsherwoodGeorge smiles to himself, with entire self-satisfaction. Yes, I am crazy, he thinks. That is my secret; my strength.
Christopher IsherwoodFor other people, I can't speak - but, personally, I haven't gotten wise on anything. Certainly, I've been through this and that; and when it happens again, I say to myself, Here it is again. But that doesn't seem to help me. In my opinion, I, personally, have gotten steadily sillier and sillier - and that's a fact.
Christopher IsherwoodBut your book is wrong, Mrs. Strunk, says George, when it tells you that Jim is the substitute I found for a real son, a real kid brother, a real husband, a real wife. Jim wasn't a substitute for anything. And there is no substitute for Jim, if you'll forgive my saying so, anywhere.
Christopher IsherwoodYou see, Kenny, there are some things you don't even know you know, until you're asked.
Christopher IsherwoodShe is sighing deeply now with sympathy and delight - the delight of an addict when someone else admits he's hooked, too.
Christopher IsherwoodSomeone has to ask you a question," George continues meaningly, "before you can answer it. But it's so seldom you find anyone who'll ask the right questions. Most people aren't that much interested.
Christopher IsherwoodThe prefect evening...lying down on the couch beside the bookcase and reading himself sleepy...Jim lying opposite him at the other end of the couch, also reading; the two of them absorbed in their books yet so completely aware of each other's presence.
Christopher IsherwoodFor a few minutes, maybe, life lingers in the tissues of some outlying regions of the body. Then, one by one, the lights go out and there is total blackness. And ifsome part of the nonโentity we called George has indeed been absent at this moment of terminal shock, away out there on the deep water, then it will return to find itself homeless.
Christopher Isherwood