...One time you take a hundred thousand dollars and let a vampire go, the whole world turns on you like you're some kind of bad guy.

If you like what you're reading, I probably wrote it.

Stop," I said. "Please do not further endorken yourself to me. You have great hair and a car that is most fly, and you have just saved me with your mad ninja driving skills, so do not sully your heroic hottie image in my mind by further reciting your nerdy scholastic agenda. Don't tell me what you're studying, Steve, tell me what's in your soul. What haunts you?" And he was like, "Dude, you need to cut back on the caffeine.

You know, there's a 12 step program for gambling. You should look into that. Twelve steps. Coyote laughed. I'll bet I can do it in six.

It's like time travel only, you know, slower.

Life is messy. Would that every puzzle piece fell into place, every word was kind, every accident happy, but such is not the case. Life is messy

It's Christmas! Ah, Christmas, the time when all good people go about not decapitating each other.