All killer whales are named Kevin. You knew that, right?

Abby: I could be a slave to your darkest desires. I can do things. Anything you want. Tommy: Well, that's terrific, because we have a lot of laundry piled up and the apartment is a wreck. Abby: Anything you desire, my lord. I can do laundry, clean, bring you small creatures to quench your thirst until I am worthy.

You don't hurry a thinker, and you don't talk to him when he's thinking. It's just inconsiderate.

The value of the work we do is the value we give to it.

Devil's Food?" You can only eat so much white cake, my friend.

...she is too beautiful, I think, to not be inherently evil.

The problem with being nuts, she thought, is that you don't always feel as if you're nuts. Sometimes, in fact, you feel perfectly sane, and there just happens to be a trailer-shaped dragon crouching in the lot next door.