I've got to think that that was unethical," Joshua said. "Josh, faking demonic possession is like a mustard seed." "How is it like a mustard seed?" "You don't know, do you? Doesn't seem at all like a mustard seed, does it? Now you see how we all feel when you liken things unto a mustard seed? Huh?
Christopher MooreA womanโs magazine quiz: Question: You decide to do the dread deed and just as things are starting to get hot he comes, rolls over, and asks, โWas it good for you?โ You: a. Say, โGod, yes! That was the best seventeen seconds of my lifeโ b. Say, โSure, as good as it gets for me with a man.โ c. Put a Certs in your navel and say, โThatโs for you, Mr. Bunnyman. You can have it on your way back up, after the job is finished
Christopher MooreCharlie Asher: Mrs. Ling, is that duck wearing trousers? Mrs. Ling: Could be . . . . You hear of paper-wrap chicken? This duck in pants.
Christopher Moore...as if someone had thrown a hand grenade into the middle of a teddy bear orgy and the only survivors had had their fur blown off.
Christopher MooreThe angel has confided in me that he is going to ask the Lord if he can become Spider-Man. [...] The children need heroes, he says. I think he just wants to swing from buildings in tight red jammies.
Christopher MooreAbby: I could be a slave to your darkest desires. I can do things. Anything you want. Tommy: Well, that's terrific, because we have a lot of laundry piled up and the apartment is a wreck. Abby: Anything you desire, my lord. I can do laundry, clean, bring you small creatures to quench your thirst until I am worthy.
Christopher Moore