One of the things I want to find out is where the hell are the WWE ice cream bars?!

I think health-wise, pro-wrestling is probably ten times worse for you than MMA.

I mean when was the last time we had one of these contract signings... that didn't end... in some sort of horrible physical calamity? So if you wanna cut to the chase, you know, we can flip the table over, we can all start beating each other up or we can at least make this entertaining.

You'd figure he'd go do something with his life, like maybe he could enlist and actually become a marine!

I'm not doing my job if people are like, "What you do is fake." And literally people on the street are confused, generally, for the first time.

Security, we have a jumper! Security?

We have the worst security!