I don't smoke, I don't drink, I don't use drugs. That may be boring for some people, but that's just me. That's how I live my life.

This is how diseases are usually spread. Someone spits on a guy, somebody has sex with a chimp. Next thing you know . . . AIDS.

In 50 years, your grandchildren will be asking you where you were when CM Punk beat the Undertaker's streak!

It's a good thing a DUI's job security.

I am fat and I don't care.

I don’t drink, I don’t smoke, I don’t do drugs. I kick people in the face for a living. So, if that’s something you’re into — if you like watching people get kicked in the face — come see me. I’ll probably be your favorite wrestler.

Security, we have a jumper! Security?