The ancient Greeks were the first ones to say an unexamined life is not worth living. They don't tell you of course what we found out, an examined life not that fascinating either.

Humanity is a crazy contradiction. I accept us for who we are. We're not that great. Every time we take a step forward we go back to the same primitive behavior. We're meant to be this way. It's not our fault, it's just who we are.

You can’t make everybody laugh. You gotta just do what you think is funny. Just be obstreperous to everybody.

The ancient Greeks were the first ones to say an unexamined life is not worth living. They don't tell you of course what we found out, an examined life not that fascinating either.

I think everyone should own six guns, even though I don't own any.

People's - most people's job is talking about the future or like money not even in the present tense. It's not even paper.

I think if you try to tailor your act to anybody, you end up with an act that doesn't work anyway.