You can’t make everybody laugh. You gotta just do what you think is funny. Just be obstreperous to everybody.

Marie Antoinette was funny, I'm sure she was just misinterpreted. You know the 'Let them eat cake' line. She seems like she was kind of funny, like a Chelsea Handler or Kathy Griffin type.

A weird sort of awareness set in, like, 'Wow. My stand-up isn't just separate from everything else I do anymore.' With Twitter and Face book, everything is universal that everything everybody says gets seen.

It’s sad. Marxism didn’t work. Communism didn’t work. Capitalism doesn’t work. Nothing works. Even democracy doesn’t work. Democracy-the greatest form of government and we have two choices for who’s our leader. In fascism you only have one choice. That’s great. We have one more choice than the worst form of government.

I love people, I love studying people more than history. So whatever situation I see, then I look at, what were the people like, more than history itself.

I don't know any comedian who tailors his act to his audience. Maybe people say they do, but I can't even imagine them.

I'm quietly becoming New York's premiere actor. People don't understand. They have me pigeon-holed as a comedian.