You can’t make everybody laugh. You gotta just do what you think is funny. Just be obstreperous to everybody.

I used to love the election season'cause it's kind of fun. Everyone makes a big sport out of it with all these different news stories and everything. I like it better now that everybody knows all the candidates from the past 15 years. But it does get really ugly. It's ugly and it's pugilist.

New York Stat agreed to pay $12 million to settle a lawsuit filed three decades ago by inmates swept up in the bloody 1971 revolt at Attica prison. The settlement will be paid in the form of chocolate bars and packs of Newports that can be picked up in the commissary.

My stand-up act? I combine the fact that the world is a violent place with the fact that each person is responsible for the situation they are in.

Humanity is a crazy contradiction. I accept us for who we are. We're not that great. Every time we take a step forward we go back to the same primitive behavior. We're meant to be this way. It's not our fault, it's just who we are.

Everybody's got a different sense of humor. It's just different styles.

I would say most comedians have a very cynical worldview of the way the world can work. It's almost like if you didn't, you couldn't be a comedian.