I think if you try to tailor your act to anybody, you end up with an act that doesn't work anyway.

The ancient Greeks were the first ones to say an unexamined life is not worth living. They don't tell you of course what we found out, an examined life not that fascinating either.

That’s the beauty of being a comedian: it’s the one job you’re allowed to do that. We’re lucky. We’re really lucky.

Somehow, it was so happy a time. Those early days of comedy are when you get addicted to it.

People say history was written by the winners. No, it wasn't. It was written by the bullies.

The mistake that people make in stand-up is thinking they're profound or they're deep when there are so many people who have more worthwhile ways of phrasing things.

I think if you try to tailor your act to anybody, you end up with an act that doesn't work anyway.