I think if you try to tailor your act to anybody, you end up with an act that doesn't work anyway.

I would say most comedians have a very cynical worldview of the way the world can work. It's almost like if you didn't, you couldn't be a comedian.

Everybody's funny in different ways.

That’s the beauty of being a comedian: it’s the one job you’re allowed to do that. We’re lucky. We’re really lucky.

I think everyone should own six guns, even though I don't own any.

I think people tend to feel odd when I do my act. Unless you are an ironic person, it's not a good place for you to be.

Everybody says before reviews come out, 'Oh, reviews don't matter,' just in case they're bad; everyone want to brace themselves.