Everybody's funny in different ways.

Twitter is one of those dangerous toys that if it gets in the hands of the wrong person you'll have the mind of a 12-year-old masquerading as an adult.

What I love about comedians is their instinct is always to go against the grain. Their whole existence is pointing out the elephant in the room. Already you can see audiences are pushing back, but we're the ones who really can take it more than anybody.

I always wanted to write as much as perform.

Everybody says before reviews come out, 'Oh, reviews don't matter,' just in case they're bad; everyone want to brace themselves.

You can't make money on Broadway. You make nothing. You maybe make like $1,350 a week after you pay out all the producers.

The only people who like to live alone more than comics are priests.