Marie Antoinette was funny, I'm sure she was just misinterpreted. You know the 'Let them eat cake' line. She seems like she was kind of funny, like a Chelsea Handler or Kathy Griffin type.

A weird sort of awareness set in, like, 'Wow. My stand-up isn't just separate from everything else I do anymore.' With Twitter and Face book, everything is universal that everything everybody says gets seen.

You can't make money on Broadway. You make nothing. You maybe make like $1,350 a week after you pay out all the producers.

Stand-up is live, so I'm used to being live for most of my career. It's interesting.

I get the impression the English kings were witty, for some reason. I feel like all you had was your wit.

People say history was written by the winners. No, it wasn't. It was written by the bullies.

I think I identify more with the smart guy, but most people might take umbrage at that. I like to think of myself as a real thinker, but I suppose people might beg to differ.