I know nowadays the common wisdom is to celebrate diversity as long as you don't point out that people are different.

I get the impression the English kings were witty, for some reason. I feel like all you had was your wit.

That’s the beauty of being a comedian: it’s the one job you’re allowed to do that. We’re lucky. We’re really lucky.

The thing that drives me crazy is when comics say 'I have low self-esteem.' No you don't. You're standing on stage asking people to pay. You don't play an instrument. You want people to pay to hear what's in your mind. You don't have low self-esteem. You might have other problems.

For the most part, comedians are pretty friendly with each other. They always say they badmouth each other, but most of the time, they're friends. We're the only ones that can really stand our type of humor.

I'm always working on stuff. But they never materialize. I'm always working on movies and TV shows.

My stand-up act? I combine the fact that the world is a violent place with the fact that each person is responsible for the situation they are in.