I know nowadays the common wisdom is to celebrate diversity as long as you don't point out that people are different.

Everybody says before reviews come out, 'Oh, reviews don't matter,' just in case they're bad; everyone want to brace themselves.

People's - most people's job is talking about the future or like money not even in the present tense. It's not even paper.

The only people who like to live alone more than comics are priests.

I would say most comedians have a very cynical worldview of the way the world can work. It's almost like if you didn't, you couldn't be a comedian.

You can't make money on Broadway. You make nothing. You maybe make like $1,350 a week after you pay out all the producers.

People say history is boring, and that is true because people are boring. We haven't changed since time began. We're still the same.