I know nowadays the common wisdom is to celebrate diversity as long as you don't point out that people are different.

I think Helen of Troy must have been pretty hot. She got two countries going crazy for 10 years over her.

I think if you try to tailor your act to anybody, you end up with an act that doesn't work anyway.

I've been to Japan, I've been to China, I've been to Africa, I've been to the Middle East, I've been to Europe a little bit. I've never been to South America.

The mistake that people make in stand-up is thinking they're profound or they're deep when there are so many people who have more worthwhile ways of phrasing things.

I used to love the election season'cause it's kind of fun. Everyone makes a big sport out of it with all these different news stories and everything. I like it better now that everybody knows all the candidates from the past 15 years. But it does get really ugly. It's ugly and it's pugilist.

I love people, I love studying people more than history. So whatever situation I see, then I look at, what were the people like, more than history itself.