People say history was written by the winners. No, it wasn't. It was written by the bullies.

The only people who like to live alone more than comics are priests.

People say history was written by the winners. No, it wasn't. It was written by the bullies.

I'm quietly becoming New York's premiere actor. People don't understand. They have me pigeon-holed as a comedian.

New York Stat agreed to pay $12 million to settle a lawsuit filed three decades ago by inmates swept up in the bloody 1971 revolt at Attica prison. The settlement will be paid in the form of chocolate bars and packs of Newports that can be picked up in the commissary.

I would say most comedians have a very cynical worldview of the way the world can work. It's almost like if you didn't, you couldn't be a comedian.

I used to love the election season'cause it's kind of fun. Everyone makes a big sport out of it with all these different news stories and everything. I like it better now that everybody knows all the candidates from the past 15 years. But it does get really ugly. It's ugly and it's pugilist.