New York Stat agreed to pay $12 million to settle a lawsuit filed three decades ago by inmates swept up in the bloody 1971 revolt at Attica prison. The settlement will be paid in the form of chocolate bars and packs of Newports that can be picked up in the commissary.

People say history is boring, and that is true because people are boring. We haven't changed since time began. We're still the same.

I know nowadays the common wisdom is to celebrate diversity as long as you don't point out that people are different.

With comedians, you have that understanding that we're trying to get laughs.

I think Helen of Troy must have been pretty hot. She got two countries going crazy for 10 years over her.

Twitter is one of those dangerous toys that if it gets in the hands of the wrong person you'll have the mind of a 12-year-old masquerading as an adult.

People say history was written by the winners. No, it wasn't. It was written by the bullies.