I would say most comedians have a very cynical worldview of the way the world can work. It's almost like if you didn't, you couldn't be a comedian.

A weird sort of awareness set in, like, 'Wow. My stand-up isn't just separate from everything else I do anymore.' With Twitter and Face book, everything is universal that everything everybody says gets seen.

I think Helen of Troy must have been pretty hot. She got two countries going crazy for 10 years over her.

Somehow, it was so happy a time. Those early days of comedy are when you get addicted to it.

I think people tend to feel odd when I do my act. Unless you are an ironic person, it's not a good place for you to be.

The thing that drives me crazy is when comics say 'I have low self-esteem.' No you don't. You're standing on stage asking people to pay. You don't play an instrument. You want people to pay to hear what's in your mind. You don't have low self-esteem. You might have other problems.

People say history was written by the winners. No, it wasn't. It was written by the bullies.