I would say most comedians have a very cynical worldview of the way the world can work. It's almost like if you didn't, you couldn't be a comedian.

People say history is boring, and that is true because people are boring. We haven't changed since time began. We're still the same.

So instead of talking about theoretical ways of ending the war and violence, I say that we have to get rid of the individual asholes in each office and situation.

New York Stat agreed to pay $12 million to settle a lawsuit filed three decades ago by inmates swept up in the bloody 1971 revolt at Attica prison. The settlement will be paid in the form of chocolate bars and packs of Newports that can be picked up in the commissary.

I'm not a big method actor. I'm much more superficial.

Somehow, it was so happy a time. Those early days of comedy are when you get addicted to it.

People's - most people's job is talking about the future or like money not even in the present tense. It's not even paper.