I love people, I love studying people more than history. So whatever situation I see, then I look at, what were the people like, more than history itself.

My name has zero value.

The only people who like to live alone more than comics are priests.

I think if you try to tailor your act to anybody, you end up with an act that doesn't work anyway.

The Senate was holding hearings on deceptive sweepstakes practices. These companies target the elderly, making them think they're going to get a bunch of money, when in reality they never see any of it. The most popular of these scams is called Social Security.

New York Stat agreed to pay $12 million to settle a lawsuit filed three decades ago by inmates swept up in the bloody 1971 revolt at Attica prison. The settlement will be paid in the form of chocolate bars and packs of Newports that can be picked up in the commissary.

I think everyone should own six guns, even though I don't own any.