I've been to Japan, I've been to China, I've been to Africa, I've been to the Middle East, I've been to Europe a little bit. I've never been to South America.

The thing that drives me crazy is when comics say 'I have low self-esteem.' No you don't. You're standing on stage asking people to pay. You don't play an instrument. You want people to pay to hear what's in your mind. You don't have low self-esteem. You might have other problems.

People's - most people's job is talking about the future or like money not even in the present tense. It's not even paper.

With comedians, you have that understanding that we're trying to get laughs.

So instead of talking about theoretical ways of ending the war and violence, I say that we have to get rid of the individual asholes in each office and situation.

I think if you try to tailor your act to anybody, you end up with an act that doesn't work anyway.

You can’t make everybody laugh. You gotta just do what you think is funny. Just be obstreperous to everybody.