The mistake that people make in stand-up is thinking they're profound or they're deep when there are so many people who have more worthwhile ways of phrasing things.

I would say most comedians have a very cynical worldview of the way the world can work. It's almost like if you didn't, you couldn't be a comedian.

I think if you try to tailor your act to anybody, you end up with an act that doesn't work anyway.

I'm quietly becoming New York's premiere actor. People don't understand. They have me pigeon-holed as a comedian.

You can't make money on Broadway. You make nothing. You maybe make like $1,350 a week after you pay out all the producers.

It was tumultuous, it was crazy, but I would not trade it for anything.

So instead of talking about theoretical ways of ending the war and violence, I say that we have to get rid of the individual asholes in each office and situation.