The mistake that people make in stand-up is thinking they're profound or they're deep when there are so many people who have more worthwhile ways of phrasing things.

My stand-up act? I combine the fact that the world is a violent place with the fact that each person is responsible for the situation they are in.

Well... you know, I would wake up with a terrible hangover in a jail somewhere and worst part was that I would not know why I was there.

The Senate was holding hearings on deceptive sweepstakes practices. These companies target the elderly, making them think they're going to get a bunch of money, when in reality they never see any of it. The most popular of these scams is called Social Security.

My name has zero value.

I think people tend to feel odd when I do my act. Unless you are an ironic person, it's not a good place for you to be.

I love people, I love studying people more than history. So whatever situation I see, then I look at, what were the people like, more than history itself.