Italian women are some of the most beautiful in the world. This is why the Vatican is in Italy. If a man can walk across Italy and retain his celibacy, he's got what it takes to be a priest - or an interior decorator.

Remember the band, Flock of Seagulls? They had their van stolen. I was like, They still have a van?

....maybe fear is God's way of saying, "Pay attention, this could be fun.

From 1934 to 1963, the biggest criminals in America ended up on Alcatraz. Nowadays they end up on Wall Street.

I think when you become a parent you go from being a star in the movie of your own life to the supporting player in the movie of someone else's.

I don't see my show as a stepping stone to something else like some people, who get a job then have a foot out the door looking for their next job.

Now that healthcare is guaranteed, I'm frying everything I eat. Fried food and cigarettes.