It is Veterans Day, when we honor everyone who served in all of the campaigns. We honor them with dignity and respect, and of course mattress sales and tire discounts.

Is it really that important? It's just television, for God's sake. It's not medicine or something.

I'm a terrible interviewer. I'm not a journalist - although I have a Peabody Award - and I'm not really a late-night host. What I am is honest.

I know the fashion is that everything is fair game [for comedy material] but I don't believe that.

When I stopped drinking, it was only because I thought if I don't stop, I'm going to die.

There's a commercial break coming and I'm very excited about it and you know why? Because that's what keeps daddy in suits.

The worst gift I was given is when I got out of rehab that Christmas; a bottle of wine. It was delicious.