For the first time in history, Congress has 100 women in it. Congratulations. Welcome to modern times, America. It's great having 100 women in Congress. Unless you're in line for the congressional bathroom.

Fat is where comedy is stored.

Climate change is a serious problem. We all need to do what we can. Unless that means I've got to change stuff. Then I'm not doing it.

I watched the Republican debate. At one point, the candidates said there are no classes in America, a point then hotly debated by all six rich white guys that were there.

If a man doesn't know how to dance he doesn't know how to make love, there I said it!

Stand by your bed and salute me.

Now that healthcare is guaranteed, I'm frying everything I eat. Fried food and cigarettes.