Late night is no different than making a film, really, except that it's faster, and if you do a crap one, you can do a better one tomorrow. Writing a novel and doing stand-up - that stuff is very similar.

That's why I believe in a Constitution which separates church from state. I've seen what happens when they get in cahoots.

I proved to my own satisfaction that I am madder than I think.

Happy Cinco de Mayo. If you don't know what that means, maybe you're a little out of touch - or maybe you're the governor of Arizona.

I am probably a pseudo-intellectual.

Last night on the show I had Olympics fever. Unfortunately, it's getting worse. That's not good. I have to call my doctor if my torch burns for more than four hours.

I enjoy bathing, as many Europeans don't.