I don't get emails from my corporate overlords.

That's the thing about terrorism - it works. Especially for the terrorists - they might not get what they want but it feels damn good trying.

I don't know now if I'm funny. I just keep talking and hope that I hit something that's funny.

BP CEO Tony Hayward said recently, 'No one wants this thing over more than I do. I'd like my life back.' Tony, I'm so sorry you had your summer disrupted. I'd buy you a drink, but you'd probably spill that too and make me clean it up.

During the cold war, West Berlin was an exclave - a tiny outpost of liberalism surrounded by people who want to crush it. It was like Austin, Texas.

I didn't flee a dictator or swim an ocean to be an American like some do. I just thought long and hard about it.

I have a deep and profound mistrust of all politicians.