I didn't flee a dictator or swim an ocean to be an American like some do. I just thought long and hard about it.

All they teach you in drama school is how to do stage fights and be a pain in rehearsals.

Betty White met with President Obama at the White House. President Obama invited Betty personally because she's great with animals. And the president's still having a tough time house-training Joe Biden.

I don't know now if I'm funny. I just keep talking and hope that I hit something that's funny.

People sometimes say to me: "Craig, get out of my garden."

I realized women and humor were linked very closely.

Director Oliver Stone says he's going to make a movie about Vladimir Putin. I can't believe anyone would want to work with that insane communist. And Putin is a little crazy as well.