I don't see my show as a stepping stone to something else like some people, who get a job then have a foot out the door looking for their next job.

I do a public access show with puppets. Puppets called actors, TV and movie stars.

What we do have is nothin' but time. Welcome to the Shawshank Redemption of late night!

I view my own body as a petting zoo. I am the main attraction... And the only customer.

The Danes are causing a bit of trouble. The kingdom of Denmark claimed the North Pole as their own. Hey, you can't just reach out and take something if you want it, Denmark. That's Russia's job.

I had lived in fear of the fabled terrifying visions that assail chronic drinkers, but which had not yet attacked me.

I think that everything looks a little scarier at night, when the sun goes down. And I know I kind of want a sense of reassurance or a community. Late-night shows is a rare place because that's what we do. Increasingly, I felt like I didn't want to be that guy. I didn't want to do that. It wasn't the only reason that I stopped doing it, but it was a consideration - I didn't know how to process tragedy after tragedy and then ... it just got too much, I think.