I hated the summer jobs I had when I was a teenager. They were so mundane and repetitious, they deadened my soul. On the bright side, it was good training for this job.

My pilot's license. I'm proud of that.

I don't get emails from my corporate overlords.

According to a new study, our email is not as safe as we thought. How do they know this? They've been reading my email.

They say give a man a fish and he'll eat for a day. But teach a man to fish and he'll get his own show on the Discovery Channel.

I know that's not the right accent, but I can't do the right accent. It's either the wrong accent or another Octomom joke.

CBS announced they're canceling As The World Turns. Don't worry though, if you're addicted to the twisted plots, the intrigue, the illicit sex, you can still watch golf.