You know, your whole life you're concerned about money for this and that. And then you don't have to worry about it, so you worry about other stuff.

Sometimes my pathology just spills out into the camera doesn't it?

Fat is where comedy is stored.

You know when you're a kid and you think, 'Oh no, I've got double math, this is never gonna end,' but then it ends, and it's like it never happened? That's like life.

There's just a feeling you get from certain things you do in life that just kind of feel pure and independent of what's actually, physically, going on.

Italian women are some of the most beautiful in the world. This is why the Vatican is in Italy. If a man can walk across Italy and retain his celibacy, he's got what it takes to be a priest - or an interior decorator.

North Korea announced that they have nuclear weapons and they have no plans to give them up. The White House, acting quickly, announced their plan to invade Iran.