You know, your whole life you're concerned about money for this and that. And then you don't have to worry about it, so you worry about other stuff.

There's a commercial break coming and I'm very excited about it and you know why? Because that's what keeps daddy in suits.

It's a great day for Sarah Palin. She was hired as a commentator for Fox News. She signed a multi-year contract, which means she'll probably quit after a year.

In Los Angeles on Black Friday, a woman pepper sprayed Wal-Mart shoppers who tried to cut in line. The police acted fast by immediately hiring her to get rid of peaceful protesters outside banking institutions all across the United States.

Oh Satan you're a wily one.

You can never talk religion on network TV. It makes too many people angry. You can talk about sex.

I'm a vulgar lounge entertainer, I don't need to wear a tie.