You know, your whole life you're concerned about money for this and that. And then you don't have to worry about it, so you worry about other stuff.

I know the fashion is that everything is fair game [for comedy material] but I don't believe that.

These days, teachers have it rough. Kids can be hyperactive, disobedient, and obnoxious. It must feel like being locked in a room of drunk midgets.

Canada is not the party. Its the apartment above the party.

I don't know how much of a natural human I am. Y'know, the truth is, I never set out to do that, and I don't think of myself like that. I don't think like that. It's not really about promotion - I don't really understand the idea of promotion, talking to a camera for more money. That's just money. And I like money, don't get me wrong. I don't know. I don't get it. I don't understand it as much as you don't understand me, I think.

You can never talk religion on network TV. It makes too many people angry. You can talk about sex.

I love the United States. I have applied for citizenship. I want to take the oath of allegiance on TV.