You clap. The Censor wakes up. We all get into trouble.

I view my own body as a petting zoo. I am the main attraction... And the only customer.

I just do my thing and try each show to be more honest about why I am and who I am. It's quite tricky and actually nerve-racking to do that. It's kind of a happy train wreck.

So far rich people have been very quiet about the possibility of getting taxes raised on them, but that doesn't mean they won't get mad about it, it just means they don't know about it. Because it takes a while for bad news to reach a rich person. First their accountant has to tell the butler, who has to tell the servant, who wouldn't dare interrupt their game of croquet.

Everything went smoothly at the sailing events today, except for the British team. They forgot to bring limes and they all got scurvy.

Gas prices - it is $6 a gallon here. People in L.A. are furious. You can't tell, of course, because of the Botox.

She still cared for me, and the best way I could make amends to her was to be happy. I do have a knack for finding great women.