So far rich people have been very quiet about the possibility of getting taxes raised on them, but that doesn't mean they won't get mad about it, it just means they don't know about it. Because it takes a while for bad news to reach a rich person. First their accountant has to tell the butler, who has to tell the servant, who wouldn't dare interrupt their game of croquet.

I know that's not the right accent, but I can't do the right accent. It's either the wrong accent or another Octomom joke.

I found out it is just as hard to make a movie that you are not proud of as it is to make one you love.

I do a public access show with puppets. Puppets called actors, TV and movie stars.

A dozen swimming events have already been completed in the Olympic competition. I wonder where they got the name 'Speedo.' It doesn't sound like a bathing suit, it sounds like a breakfast cereal for meth addicts.

The Afghan government is as corrupt as a prostitute with a law degree.

The White House announced plans to begin normalizing relations with Cuba - this as we're awkwardizing relations with Russia.