Old people really do have a secret though. You wanna know what it is? Luck.

I don't know how much of a natural human I am. Y'know, the truth is, I never set out to do that, and I don't think of myself like that. I don't think like that. It's not really about promotion - I don't really understand the idea of promotion, talking to a camera for more money. That's just money. And I like money, don't get me wrong. I don't know. I don't get it. I don't understand it as much as you don't understand me, I think.

Being an American is something I wanted to be for a very long time, probably since I saw the moon landing when I was a child.

You clap. The Censor wakes up. We all get into trouble.

Stoners just got a powerful new ally in the fight to legalize marijuana - conservative broadcaster Pat Robertson. He said it's time to 'you know, legalize it, tax it, and keep it away from Mel Gibson.'

I've started looking at my own father a bit funny. He assures me, though, that I really am the son of a Scottish postman.

Late night is no different than making a film, really, except that it's faster, and if you do a crap one, you can do a better one tomorrow. Writing a novel and doing stand-up - that stuff is very similar.