Old people really do have a secret though. You wanna know what it is? Luck.

You can never talk religion on network TV. It makes too many people angry. You can talk about sex.

The Smurfs 2 is a great movie. The Smurfs are tiny little creatures that everybody loves. They're like Justin Bieber - minus the part about everybody loving him.

If a man doesn't know how to dance he doesn't know how to make love, there I said it!

Confession is a sacred rite enhanced by allegory, exaggeration, and lies.

This is my first week as an American citizen. It's amazing. Now I can vote in the general election - and for American Idol.

Oh Satan you're a wily one.