A friend of mine that I was in a band with started me on Kafka, which in turn led to Camus and Sartre.

Some people watching CNN were so shocked they started rioting. No, I'm kidding. No one watches CNN.

Divorce lawyers stoke anger and fear in their clients, knowing that as long as the conflicts remain unresolved the revenue stream will keep flowing.

Is it really that important? It's just television, for God's sake. It's not medicine or something.

A lot of people in their 30's get nostalgic for their teen years. Then they get jobs in TV, become bitter and jaded and prematurely old. Then they turn their nostalgia into great television.

At CBS, I’m in your house. I’m mindful of that. When I do standup, you’re in my home and I can say what I want to.

I don't like my politicians entertaining me and I don't like my entertainers politicianing me.