There are rumors that there is a John Edwards sex tape. People say it's twenty minutes of Edwards caressing and stroking...And that's just the part where he fixes his hair.

It's a great day for America, everybody! It's Monday, woo.

Lance Armstrong admitted he used performance-enhancing drugs throughout his career. He confessed in front of the most respected judge in the land, Oprah Winfrey.

A woman in Germany gave birth to a 13 1/2 pound baby. That baby was so fat his first word was strudel.

People sometimes say to me: "Craig, get out of my garden."

The new Pope, Cardinal Jorge Mario Bergoglio, is now Pope Francis the 1st. Francis was not his first choice for a name. But the Vatican wisely talked him out of Pope Boo Boo.

Old people really do have a secret though. You wanna know what it is? Luck.