There are rumors that there is a John Edwards sex tape. People say it's twenty minutes of Edwards caressing and stroking...And that's just the part where he fixes his hair.

I don't just like sexual double entendres I love them, I stroke them, I milk them, I spank them when they're naughty.

I try and live my life in bite-size chunks.

I think commercialism helps Christmas and I think that the more capitalism we can inject into the Christmas holiday the more spiritual I feel about it

Aphrodisiacs come in many forms: food, drink, the internet.

A lot of the U.S. used to be part of Mexico, including Arizona. But they're a bit touchy about that right now.

It's a great day for America, everybody! It's Monday, woo.