It's a book. It's mine. And it's done.

I don't think wood was discovered in Britain until the 1970's. That's when I discovered it anyway.

My son's always showing me pictures of dinosaurs and asking me what their names are. I dont know so I make stuff up: That son is a thesaurus.

It's a great day for America, everybody! It's Monday, woo.

For me, comedy should have a certain amount of joy in it. It should be about attacking the powerful - the politicians, the Trumps, the blowhards - going after them. We shouldn't be attacking the vulnerable.

In Los Angeles on Black Friday, a woman pepper sprayed Wal-Mart shoppers who tried to cut in line. The police acted fast by immediately hiring her to get rid of peaceful protesters outside banking institutions all across the United States.

Other than the laws of physics, rules have never really worked out for me.