It's a book. It's mine. And it's done.

Sarah Palin is speaking out about the oil spill. She said, I'm not kidding, we should ask the Dutch for help with the spill because the Dutch have the world's best dikes. So let me get this straight. It is OK to cover lesbians in oil but you just can't let them get married.

Historically, when Americans don't know what to do next, they go to Paris. Benjamin Franklin is like: 'What am I going to do now? I'll go to Paris!'

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with telling the truth. I know it isn’t fashionable.

If you can't trust, you can't be trustworthy.

Don't hit women. Never, ever, ever.

That's here on CBS, where the 'C' stands for 'Classy' and the 'BS' speaks for itself.