It's very interesting to know what people are doing while you're working on late-night television.

President Obama said that we rely too much on gadgets. He gave a passionate speech about technology, but he had to stop when the teleprompter broke.

Laughter separates us from despair and gives us a chance at love.

The only thing that I would say to anyone doing late night shows is - it took me a couple years then - but when you leave the studio, it's over. That's what you really have to do. After a long time, I would be like, "Maybe I shouldn't have said this," or "Maybe I shouldn't have shown this." But eventually, I got to, "Ah, f - k it." That's what it was that night, tomorrow's the next night.

My mother was tickled and I think kind of proud when my father got hit on my an attractive middle-aged Asian lady who hadn't noticed he was with his family. He was certainly pleased about it.

I'm not so much a dragon slayer, more a dragon annoyer -- I'm a dragon irritater.

The three drunkest cities in America: Fresno, Riverside, and whatever Mel Gibson is driving through.