This is my first week as an American citizen. It's amazing. Now I can vote in the general election - and for American Idol.

You know who sang at Rush Limbaugh's wedding? Elton John! According to Rush, gay people can sing at weddings. Just not their own.

I don't think of myself of a late-show host any more than I think of myself of a game-show host. I mean, I've done both, I've been an actor. I'm just kind of a carny, that's it.

The difference between a broadcaster and a host is that a host tells stories and dumb jokes, but a broadcaster can articulate deeper like, you know - things and stuff.

Thanks cows. I appreciate your tastiness.

With good parody, you have to be smarter that the people you’re parodying.

Twas the night before Thanksgiving.