When I stopped drinking, it was only because I thought if I don't stop, I'm going to die.

The sexy magazine in Britain in that time was called Club International. Club International: It was about as international as the International House of Pancakes. It should have been called Naked Cockney Girls with Scurvy.

People are saying that Anderson Cooper could be the new Oprah. And then these people are struck by lightning.

Technically my dog's naked most of the time. Except halloween, when I dress him up as Liza Minelli.

Anyway, if you needed something really dangerous, get a gun. It's easy, it's cheap, and it's the American way.

Here in California, we passed a law against texting while driving. But there's no law preventing you from writing a letter while driving.

Being an American is something I wanted to be for a very long time, probably since I saw the moon landing when I was a child.