In some countries Women's Day is a national holiday and men give women flowers. In America Women's Day falls on another holiday, Mardi Gras, where men give women beads in the respectful and post-feminist desire to see their naked boobies.

Acid gave me a clinical, unblinking look at madness, and I discovered I wasn't brave enough to be insane.

I am the Saudi Arabia of unhappiness. I have so many reserves of misery that you wouldn't understand. I actually think that's part of why I connect with Canadians. I think they understand grinding misery underneath.

I realize that I am not a journalist. So anything I say is not important.

According to a new study, Hawaii is the happiest place in America to live. And I thought it was just a great place to pretend you were born in.

I only like sports that Bond villains played.

New iPod. It looks like an iPhone but it can't make phone calls. So its really just an iPhone.