Oh Satan you're a wily one.

Fat is where comedy is stored.

The first ads for medical marijuana have started airing on television in California. The ads are quite expensive. It costs a lot of money to buy 30 seconds during 'Spongebob Squarepants.'

Historically, when Americans don't know what to do next, they go to Paris. Benjamin Franklin is like: 'What am I going to do now? I'll go to Paris!'

Even a chameleon needs the proper amount of suction.

Even though it's warm here in L.A., people still have to wear layers - at least until their plastic surgery heals.

When I stopped drinking, it was only because I thought if I don't stop, I'm going to die.