I knew that I had been partially right in the storeroom above the bar on Christmas Day. Whoever I had become had to die.

There is no Thanksgiving back in the old country where I come from. You know why? Because being thankful is a sin.

Ratings experts say the best way to get people to watch during sweeps is to leave the audience with a question that won't be answered until the next time the show is on. You know, like Who shot J.R.? I like to think I do this every night - the question is, Is this show still on?

I hated the summer jobs I had when I was a teenager. They were so mundane and repetitious, they deadened my soul. On the bright side, it was good training for this job.

A woman in Germany gave birth to a 13 1/2 pound baby. That baby was so fat his first word was strudel.

I freely admit I'm confused. I'm a confused and troubled individual but at the same time...Its Free!

I always wanted to make motion pictures, ever since I was a wee boy, and I was 32, and time was marching on. I met a guy who said, 'Come out to Hollywood for 10 days, and I'll get you a deal.' So I figured, 'OK, 10 days.' On the 10th day, he got me a development deal with Disney, not for a lot of money, but it allowed me to make the move.