Confession is a sacred rite enhanced by allegory, exaggeration, and lies.

For my birthday that year Anne gave me an inflatable atlas globe, along with a birthday card in which she wrote: I give you the world. Have fun blowing it up.

That's here on CBS, where the 'C' stands for 'Classy' and the 'BS' speaks for itself.

A number of U.S. colleges are going to start having dorms for alcoholics. I believe those are called dorms.

These days, teachers have it rough. Kids can be hyperactive, disobedient, and obnoxious. It must feel like being locked in a room of drunk midgets.

Everything I think of now is too rude to actually say.

Every day I ran to that book like it was a bottle of whiskey and crawled inside because it was a world that I had at least some control over, and slowly, in time, it began to take shape.