I freely admit I'm confused. I'm a confused and troubled individual but at the same time...Its Free!

I've got young kids, so it suits me to do a job which keeps me in town right now.

From this moment on I'd dedicate my life to rock and roll and take as many drugs as possible. What could possibly go wrong?

Here in California, we passed a law against texting while driving. But there's no law preventing you from writing a letter while driving.

So far rich people have been very quiet about the possibility of getting taxes raised on them, but that doesn't mean they won't get mad about it, it just means they don't know about it. Because it takes a while for bad news to reach a rich person. First their accountant has to tell the butler, who has to tell the servant, who wouldn't dare interrupt their game of croquet.

Now that healthcare is guaranteed, I'm frying everything I eat. Fried food and cigarettes.

The only thing that I would say to anyone doing late night shows is - it took me a couple years then - but when you leave the studio, it's over. That's what you really have to do. After a long time, I would be like, "Maybe I shouldn't have said this," or "Maybe I shouldn't have shown this." But eventually, I got to, "Ah, f - k it." That's what it was that night, tomorrow's the next night.